Years ago, when I lived in India, I had a woman who helped clean my house.
I called her Didi – a respectful word for “older sister.”
What struck me about her wasn’t just her presence or quiet strength.
It was something… odd.
While she swept the floor, arranged things, or scrubbed the sink –
she would softly hiss.
Like: ssssss…
At first, I found it strange. Even distracting.
Then I got used to it.
And eventually, I stopped noticing it.
Until one day – years later – I caught myself doing the exact same thing.
A situation had stressed me out, and without realizing it,
I had started hissing. Just like Didi.
That was the moment I understood:
She had been releasing something.
That sound wasn’t random.
It was her body’s way of managing emotion.
And mine, too.
The Body Speaks First
Since that moment, I’ve started paying close attention to how people – myself included – unconsciously regulate difficult emotions.
One person might start humming or whistling.
Another develops small facial tics or nervous laughter.
Others get very busy – doing the dishes, reorganizing the bookshelf, scrolling endlessly.
And many of us (myself included) have this strange little habit:
If I walk down the street and make awkward eye contact with someone –
I’ll start softly humming or singing under my breath.
Automatically. Without thinking.
These are not just quirks.
They are somatic reflexes – subtle, embodied responses that help us discharge anxiety and return to some form of regulation.
According to Stephen Porges, creator of the Polyvagal Theory, our nervous system is wired to seek safety through a dynamic dance between social engagement, fight/flight, and shutdown states. When something activates our system – even slightly – the body tries to soothe itself in the best way it knows how.
Sometimes with a sigh.
Sometimes with a hiss.
Sometimes with a tune under the breath.
These Little Things Are Not Little
In somatic work, especially in Voice Tantra Somatics, we pay close attention to these micro-expressions.
Because they’re not mistakes.
They’re clues.
They’re like small leaks in the pressure valve – ways that the body tries to keep itself from exploding.
And the more we observe them without judgment,
the more we start to understand ourselves at a deeper level.
Sometimes we’re not ready to express a full-blown scream, or to collapse into grief.
But we might whistle.
Or hum.
Or start tapping a rhythm on the table without knowing why.
That’s where the somatic story begins.
And often – that’s where it starts to unravel.
The Wisdom in Your Noise
In Voice Tantra, we don’t try to fix these sounds.
We listen to them.
We track them.
We let them grow – if they want to.
Because often, that unconscious hiss is the beginning of a scream.
Or a sob.
Or a deep, shaking breath that hasn’t come out in years.
We don’t force anything.
We simply create a space where the body doesn’t have to hold it all in anymore.
And that’s where healing begins.
Not through explanation.
Not through control.
But through trusting the body’s strange, spontaneous medicine.
Try This
Next time you’re stressed – pause.
Don’t go into problem-solving. Don’t go into “fixing.”
Just… observe.
- What sound wants to come out?
- What do your hands want to do?
- Do you get suddenly busy? Or strangely still?
- Do you start humming… or hissing?
Don’t try to stop it.
Just notice it.
Because that small, unconscious thing you’re doing might be your nervous system’s way of surviving.
And if you learn to listen,
that reflex might just lead you back to your center.
Want to go deeper?
This is exactly the kind of work we explore in Voice Tantra Somatics – learning to hear your body before your mind drowns it out.
Your body knows.
All it needs is a space to speak.
